Match Report 03 June 2013: STRANGE WAYS PUSH JIM’S BUTTONS AS CLARKE BOWS OUT

This week saw a game with emotions running high; Jamie’s resignation from the team saw him turn out in the black and yellow for the very last time against Strange Ways FC, who were out for revenge after a closely fought loss at the hands (and feet) of Everybody’s Favourite Frank Lee Monday Night 5-a-side Football Team.

Good Ol’ Reliable Jon Minto called captain Jim to inform him that he had been fannying around in Granchester and didn’t have time to go home and get kit, so in stepped the manager, finding an alternative 80’s football shirt-Hawaiian shorts combo for him. Sadly upon arrival it turned out that Simon, having been distracted by a butterfly, had forgotten said kit. Cue Judas Whitt going part way to redeeming himself by lending his shorts and a spare hoody in a clear attempt at paving his way into the #Ladpack.

Luke ‘pigtails’ Cheesbrough was out to prove a point, facing off once again against the girl that ‘megged him earlier in the season, and with Jamie’s fragile state of mind and Minto’s hoody in scorching sunshine it was clear this could get messy.

As is traditional Ladpack went behind, and 2-0 down, Jim was beaten on the outside by a Stranger, and proceeded to ‘Red Mist’ him into the wall. The crunch was deafening, and the scream even more so. Everything went slow motion/black and white, and Nick threw up on the sidelines out of shock. The team’s sparkling angelic discipline record will forever be tarnished by Jim’s SIN BIN for two minutes. Luckily neither the police nor ambulance services were called and despite suffering the scything GBH, the player was up to take the free kick (albeit a changed man). The four remaining players went into ‘park the bus mode’, ably orchestrated by the #Ladpack’s new General Elect Nick “Let ‘em have it there” Stubbings, and even managed to grab one back.

The last thing the opposition saw

The last thing the opposition saw

After a two minute spell that felt like a decade, Jim returned, only to be replaced by Luke ‘The Gamechanger’ Cheesbrough, who scored a quick brace that put them ahead for the first time in the game. Then Strange Ways spirits were broken when Jamie scoop-chipped the ball long for Simon to exquisitely half-volley it straight at the keeper, but then delightfully lobbed him with the rebound.

Luckily despite their frequent substitutions The Strangers tired in the hot sun and whilst they had a good go at it, the score ended 8-5. There was a frankly hilarious moment when their player got a bit shirty with Jamie having been put on his arse with a delightful tackle, but having learned their lesson, the #Lads did not get drawn into it. Jamie finished the evening with a touching tribute to the fan.

There will be a league tribunal on Friday where Jim will answer for his clothesline, whilst Simon will also be quizzed on claims he “accidentally” touched the girl’s booby during the game.

Jim has released a statement, saying “This may not have been the best week for the #Ladpack reputationally, but people should remember that a) we are usually very well behaved; and b) he definitely deserved it”.

No match on Monday 10 June, so Jim will be spending it scouring Europe for potential signings.

You're going home in a #Ladpack ambulance

A ‘Ross-Russell Taxi’: Not quite needed

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