Ladpack Match Report 20 May 2013: GOAL OF THE SEASON, BUT AT WHICH END?

This week’s opposition was Inter NHS, who were one of only two nonLad teams with their 100% win record still intact (alongside CBU, the Joker to our Batman, the Liam to our Noel, the Luke Cheesbrough to our personal hygiene). Due to a staffing mix up it, there were 7 #Lads in the line up, meaning players could remove the proverbial handbrake and go hell-for-leather, and running themselves into the ground safe in the knowledge that there were subs in the wings (AKA “Podolskiing”). Although obviously Reliable Ol’ John Minto was late so it started with just the one sub.

In honesty it wasn’t a particularly eventful match, and they never really looked that dangerous. The now infamous ‘guy that always plays against us and wears joggers’ from last season was turning out for Inter NHS (literally does he even have an actual team?! MERCENARY!), and he provided nearly all of their attacking threat. However, having played against him 257489364 times before, he was kept relatively under the #LadThumb.

they had one player that clearly stood out for the opposition, and not just because he was  wearing a blue top in a side playing in Barcelona (or Burnley?) colours, but also because of his playing style. I can only image he was watching Goal of the Season compilations or this Hamit Altintop scorcher, as he literally tried to volley the ball goalwards every time it passed near him in the air. The problem was he was more John O’Shea than Dejan Stankovic.

Therefore I think the goalkeeper on the next pitch spent more time passing the ball back on to our pitch than he did making saves, but the plucky Mr Blue unapologetically kept trying. It would be nice if he had finally scored one, the winner perhaps, but sadly this isn’t Hollywood or, in Jurgen Klopp’s words “There’s no Harry Potter flying on his f**king stick – just football”, and I am afraid to say he did not. Not even nearly.

Man in a blue shirt, in case you can't visualise it.

Man in a blue shirt, in case you can’t visualise it.

At one point they staged a bit of a fight back, scoring a couple on the trot, before one of the opposition said “We can get back in this now, lads”, before Jamie brutally scored a juggernaut of a belter straight from kick off. Have that.

Their 62 year old goalkeeper had his work cut out, using all of his experience to deny a few goals, and had to change his underwear when lanky funster Simon Day struck the ball better than he had ever managed before and nearly broke the post. I’m not sure who was more surprised: the keeper, the ref, Simon or the other #Lads.

Scores yet to be confirmed, but it was something like 10-5. No game next week due to the Bank Holiday.

Matt Le Tissier. Not playing for Inter NHS

Matt Le Tissier. Not playing for Inter NHS

Elsewhere, CBU maintained their 100% record with a win against Judas FC, who somehow managed to get two players sent off. Not knowing the full story or any of the facts, we can only assume they are involved in match fixing in an antiLadpack conspiracy.

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