Late on Friday afternoon it was announced that Jamie ‘Corporal’ Clarke would be retiring from Team Ladpack FC, with Monday night’s game to be his last in the yellow and black. In an announcement made through the comment section of his Instagram account (complete with a picture of him taking off his #Ladpack shirt with sunglasses on drinking Starbuck’s), the tough-tackling Italian-Chinese defender revealed:

 “Due to an irresistible employment opportunity in London, I will no longer be able to be a full-time #Lad. I’ve had a great year with this team, and although I know that Jim RR’s project is not complete, it will have to go on without me. Up the Ladpack.”  he blubbed.

Jamie in action for the #Ladpack

Jamie in action for the #Ladpack

A founding member of The Greatest Team To Ever Play Frank Lee Monday Night 5-a-side Football©, Jamie will be missed for the long range efforts, incessant calls to “hold the ball” and his complete lack of understanding of the ‘no sliding tackles’ rule.

We can however, now announce the launch of the Ladpack hall of fame, and the Jamie ‘Clarkeyboy’ Clarke Stand at Ladpack’s homeground (AKA White Hart LAD, LADdison Park, Old TraLADford, #LADford Bridge or ElLAD Road), and hope the Corporal will join us in our end of season celebrations.

Simon is irreconcilable, and with his footballing hero and father figure leaving him behind, concerns have already arisen regarding how he will know when to hold the ball and when to run to the corners of the pitch.

Rumours are circulating that the club has left the door open for Jamie to return as Director of Youth Development, as soon as somebody is willing to reproduce with one of  the sorry specimens of manhood at the club.

Known for his muscular presence, Clarke's vacancy may renew Jim RR's interest in Chris 'Formerly Known as Judas' Whitt

Known for his muscular presence, Clarke’s vacancy may renew Jim RR’s interest in Chris ‘Formerly Known as Judas’ Whitt


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